Thoughts on The Last Jedi with spoilers, so…. don’t come cryin’ if you haven’t seen it

Let me start this by saying that I am not the kind of guy that goes into a movie and tries to figure out the end or where it’s going. I like to get lost in the movie and just be entertained. But this movie on a number of occasions pulled me out of that and made me think about things that were so wrong with the movie and the story. 

The biggest problem I have with The Last Jedi is this…

Luke Skywalker was my childhood hero. He always had hope, optimism, faith… not just in the force, but in the biggest most powerful villain in Star Wars lore, Darth Vader. Luke was an unlikely hero we all admired. Everyone, including me at 14 wanted to be Luke Skywalker.

Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi was unrecognizable. He was the disenchanted, pessimistic, loser that gave up on everything and everyone. Nobody wants to be, or looks up to the Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi, nobody.

Luke goes to kill Kylo in his sleep… really? The guy that had faith that he could turn the biggest villain, Darth Vader from the dark side, doesn’t even bother trying to keep Kylo from going to the dark side…? He just wants to kill him? This is his sister’s son. This is his best friend’s son. Nope, I’ll just kill him. What in the fuck is that shit? Then Luke has a quick change of heart, but loses a fight to Kylo? Come on… 

They took my childhood hero and turned him into the grumpy old jedi who has no faith and doesn’t give a shit about anything, including his friends and family… Instead of “Get off of my lawn” it was, “Get off of my island”

Obi Wan became a recluse, but didn’t lose faith in the force or become a grumpy old fuck. He took Luke under his wing. He answered the call when Leia asked him to come. Luke sat there and was a dick. I wanna burn it all to the ground… 

He didn’t bother helping or teaching Rey to be a jedi at all. She even got tired of his shit and basically said, If you aren’t gonna help me, fuck off, I’ll do it myself.

And Luke’s death.. What in the flying mother of fuck was that? Blowing away in the wind? That left me slack jawed and pissed off.

The way this movie treated Luke Skywalker ruined the entire movie for me, period.

And how did Rey go from randomly pulling a jedi mind trick to being able to wheeled a lightsaber like a pro? Luke had a ton of practice and training with Obi Wan with the blaster shield and all that. 

I like Rey and Kylo’s storyline, but I am a bit tired of Kylo’s temper tantrums, but whatever.

Finn was completely wasted in The Last Jedi. I loved his character in The Force Awakens, yet they had him running around pointlessly in this movie. And his girlfriend or companion or whatever she was… why was she even in this movie? She added absolutely nothing.

Laura Dern’s character was annoying for no reason at all. If she would have just told Po the plan when he asked, none of the rest would have even taken place, dumb.

Chewbacca I felt was wasted in this movie was well. C3PO had a cameo, but that was it… 

Why didn’t they use Billy Dee Williams aka Lando as the casino owner? What a missed opportunity. He would have been perfect.

We are about to run out of gas? The 2nd have of the movie was the low speed OJ Simpson chase in space, wtf? That was so stupidly ridiculous to me.

And let’s talk about Leia sucked out in the void of space, shall we? Like you wouldn’t be immediately frozen into a popsicle. Then she opens her eyes? They probly would have been sucked out of her head when she was sucked into space, if not they woulda been 2 frozen ping pong balls in her head. Then she uses the force to fly her through space back into the ship, but she’ll be ok… haha, lame!

Who was Snoke, what was Snoke, how did he get his face so fucked up? How did he become more powerful with the dark side of the force than even the Emperor? Well, we’ll never know now that they killed him off before telling us anything about him. Wasted character.

The entire scene with Kylo and Rey fighting with the royal guard (whatever they are called dressed in red) I liked and disliked the fight. I loved they were fighting together. The fighting was badly choreographed and looked at times like me and my 5 year old son fighting with plastic lightsabers in the living room. I hated the set, it looked like a giant stage with red curtains… I mean, that is what it was, but I don’t want to think that during a movie.

I watched in 3D, which I am not a fan of, but whatever… Maybe it was the 3D that made some scenes overly obvious that they were shot in front of a green screen. Again, I know they are shot in front of a green screen, but it took me out of being lost in the movie when it’s so glaringly obvious.

There were things I liked, but there were more I didn’t like. There are plenty of things I would gladly overlook, but the entire Luke reimagining killed it for me. I wish they didn’t even bring him back, to be honest… 

Disagree if you like, I don’t care. We all have opinions, and this is mine. I rate this one below Revenge of The Sith


UPDATED: I forgot about Rey with “nobody” parents… give me a fucking break. All I have to say is that Kylo better have been lying. They made such a big build up and big deal… Ehhh, they were drunks, nobody. FUCKIN’ LAME!

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